Recent BBQs: I feel lost. Mommy says it's cuz I've grown-up. Wierd's e irony in e regret nw over my childhood dream of growing-up quickly realising.
Laughing out loud.
Time.
LAH.
THIS BLOG'S NOT DEAD YET~!!!

More...

With the receipt of my CL results ytd, I began to worry for myself, and for the "future" of my college. I rmb once Cyy said she was hoping for Innova to become a top 10 jc by 2006. And I also recall Jen saying tt Innova's NOT at 20pt jc... however, the results of our summertests speaks for themselves.

I got myself some BCDD, plus 2 C5 AO passes. Heh, you might be wondering why I'm being so paranoid if I havent failed anything... well I'd say I'd be LESS paranoid if I HAD failed a sub or two, on the contrary~

You see, I'm the sorta slacker tt's SUPPOSED to fail lots and lotsa papers... esp the bigg, toughie ones... my first mid year in Ass, I scraped only 3 passes in homec , LS sci. and geog, I clearly rmb... 3 passes, outta the 9 subs I had to take tt time. Similarly, in sec 3, I did so badly I ended up being one of the "diamonds" :

And now, I'm not failing?!?!

I certainly understand Mrs. Tan's words of "a big fish in a small pond" right now. I feel as if I have no right to feel honoured coming in first for econs in the whole class, cuz it's a C. Neither have I anything to boast for being the top computing dud in the college, for it's a B, not an A. It's like, I'm being put in the spotlight not cuz of my own ability, but due to the others' lack thereof. It feels horrible plus terrible. This' prolly get wad Ming Li goes thru, now I get it... but I've NO idea how she can enjoy it so much...

I dunn want this, you may say it sound hypocritic, but I'm not used to being tops... The last time I was this high up I was in P3. Since then, I've always been put to trial with the cream of the crop, it sorta gave me some motivation to keep myself from laggin too far behind the REAL geniuses like Nafisha and Hj in my primary skools and from like, Lh or Cm in Ass...

I'm trying to see the results as absolute values now, I have to, or I'll get conceited like I did when I topped all the sciences at first, in 3/4... and start like decline. Wish me all the best?